Hidden Brain thoughts, more thoughts on Anne with an E, childfree FB groups, a rant and a life update

In Anne with an E, Ka’Kwet ran away from the boarding school that her parents had sent her to; and she ends up being able to get away and gets to a spot where her parents find her. But that family’s reunion was short-lived because people from that boarding school end up finding them…and then taking Ka’Kwet back to the boarding school with them. So what happens then, is that Ka’Kwet’s parents show up at Anne’s, Marilla’s and Matthew’s house, in the hopes that that family will help them get their daughter back. But that journey of theirs showing up at Anne’s and her family’s house ends up being misunderstood by Marilla (because Marilla thinks that they’re evil people). But the thing is, Marilla only thinks that because that’s what she’s been told practically all her life. So until Anne calms her down and talks to her lovingly about who these people actually are, she (Marilla) acts tough. But once she understands that these people are friends of Anne’s, she (Marilla) agrees to try and help them search for their daughter/bring her back to their home safely. But unfortunately, the method they used to bring her home, was not the ideal one. Ka’Kwet’s parents ended up giving every bit of money they had to this boarding school, in exchange for Ka’Kwet to go home with them. But TBH, I was more filled with joy that she was able to be back with her family, that I didn’t even care how this was made possible.

As I’ve mentioned in other blog entries before, Anne and one of her classmates named Gilbert have a constant off and on type of relationship. This particular aspect of the show is so fucking good…and that’s saying a lot because I can’t stand most romance-related books or movies. But as I’ve said, Anne and Gilbert’s interactions with each other are great. But we the viewers have to wait until nearly the end of season three of the show, before we get what I’d call a half-hearted answer about where Gilbert and Anne stand with each other. Like, there are several times when Anne and Gilbert both try to tell the other how they truly feel about them, but something always gets in the way. Either Anne chooses not to read the notes that Gilbert has left her, or Anne crumples up letters that Gilbert has written her…or she just flat out believes that Gilbert’s true love is another woman. And then when she finally finds out that Gilbert’s true love is actually her, she scrambles to find him before he goes away to college, to let him know that she feels the same way towards him. And then literally at the end of season three of Anne with an E, there are a few times when Anne and Gilbert kiss each other…but that’s the extent of where their relationship goes. And TBH, that’s a huge letdown for me because I had high hopes about the things we as the viewers would get to see regarding how Anne’s and Gilbert’s romantic relationship would, and could, develop.

And although this particular Netflix series won’t have another season, I have ideas of things that I’d like to take place, if the show actually were to be continued. One of those things would be that we see more character development between Bash and his daughter who’s a newborn baby. The baby’s name is Delphine which I think is a pretty name. And just to refresh you all’s memories, Bash (or Sebastian) was the friend of Gilbert’s that Gilbert had met on a ship. Bash and Gilbert actually became like brothers to each other and I think it would’ve been neat to see that develop more fully as well. I also would’ve liked to see more of Anne’s relationship with Matthew and Marilla, once it became obvious that the three of them truly fell in love as a family. Selfishly, I would’ve also loved to see a whole lot more LGBTQ+ representation because it’s still too fucking rare for my tastes…especially now that I’m an out-and-proud gay woman myself. Since Anne and Diana are best friends with one another, it would’ve been awesome to see more of the dynamic between Diana trying to find and assert her individuality and her (Diana’s) mom and dad being resistant to those things. It would’ve also been neat to see more about how Diana and her little sister Minnie May got along with each other (or didn’t get along).

I finished listening to the recent Hidden Brain episode that talked about the role that money plays in our society; and ultimately I gained some food for thought which is mainly that money is a way for us human beings to continue having relationships with each other. And TBH, I hadn’t even considered that sort of thing being a possibility. But I could see how it is: because every time we go to a coffee shop, restaurant or other kinda business, we’re doing so with the knowledge that we’ll definitely revisit that business, if the customer service is stellar or if we think that said business sells good products. And it’s interesting to me to think about the fact that if the world didn’t have money, there wouldn’t necessarily be any reason for people to form relationships with one another.

In the CF Facebook group I’ve been talking about lately, someone posted on a thread saying that they don’t get why some folks consider themselves to be childfree when they’re regularly involved with a partner’s kids. And the response I wrote to that particular comment reads:
I’m totally with you on this!! I know there are folks who say that they consider people to be CF, even though they’re dating someone with kids. I’m not one of the folks who thinks that, though. I feel very strongly that if you’re dating someone with kids, you are not CF…because you are regularly involved in those kids’ lives…which is the polar opposite of being CF.

Also in this group, I wrote the following post which reads:
OK, I realize I might get flack for making this post because people in this group have said things like “IDK why people like to talk about their dislike of kids so much.” But here’s why I at least, feel I have the right to talk about that part of my truth honestly and openly: because it is part of my truth, even if that knowledge may make others uncomfortable. I also feel that I should be able to speak about this openly in this group particularly, because that is what this group is for: for folks who are CF to discuss being CF in any way, shape or form which to my mind, includes the brutal truth that some of us feel the way I’m gonna talk about in this post. So that being said, if you’ve read this far and you know you’re someone who’s gonna get angry at this brutal honesty then please don’t waste yours or my time commenting with your anger. I’m posting this to not only express myself but also, to help encourage others who feel similarly to share in these feelings with me. That’s your warning.

I don’t wish children/older kids ill will or anything else of a cruel nature; I just don’t fucking like them!! Some reasons I don’t like them are: they are often not well-behaved, they scream, cry and otherwise throw fits when they don’t get their way, they interrupt conversations repeatedly; and when they’re a baby, they demand/require your full attention, thereby making it damn near impossible for you to enjoy being a grown-up and doing grown-up things like have sex whenever you want or treat yourself to something you/your partner enjoys. Oh, and I almost forgot that when children/older kids are sick, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve used all of your allowed sick days already or not; that kid is gonna need you to take care of them until they’re 18, period. And fuck, just writing all of this is making me frustrated!! Seriously.

Now, I want to talk about how much I can’t stand seeing people post things about their kids/pregnancy ETC. Well thankfully, I’m blind…so I don’t have to actually see pics of kids or women’s pregnancy or women’s baby/birth pics. However it’s bad enough that I have to read people’s posts where they talk about their pregnancy/kids. Like, it makes me livid because our society is so baby/kid-centric, that there’s just this assumption that everyone in the world loves kids/cares about people’s pregnancy/kids…and that fucking sucks!! Because I’m one of the few who’s honest enough to bluntly say that if I read another kid/mommy happy pregnancy post, I’m gonna fucking scream!! Come on, folks, it is not amazing that you can pop a human being out of your vagina. That is not sexy/beautiful, not even a little. It is also not amazing that you have kids and work hard–CF people work hard AF too…but it’s folks with babies/kids who get all the accolades. How does anyone *not* see anything seriously wrong with that fucking picture? Geez!!!!

This discussion continued, and in response to someone claiming that they think my outlook makes me seem like I’m a bitter person/that the fact I use cuss words throughout my post, indicates I have unresolved issues within myself. So I wrote the following to them:
So you would’ve preferred I sugar-code things/flat out say that I love kids? I’m a grown-up, grown-ups cuss. AND LOL at your saying you think I’m bitter, just because I’m expressing a strong opinion. Unless you have something of substance to say to me, I won’t engage with you on this topic after I’ve posted this reply to you.
Another response I wrote on this topic, was referring to a comment where someone tried to justify why kids act the way they do. My response to that particular comment reads:
But I feel like by you saying that I should be understanding that kids may not be well-behaved because of a disability, illness or what have you, that you are suggesting that that means kids should get a free pass. If so, I disagree. If not, please explain what you meant. I’ve seen/interacted with well-behaved kids before, and those interactions were pleasant…but those interactions have been the exceptions in my experience, not the rule.
Another comment I wrote a response to, was one in which someone said that they took this post as me being exhausted. My response reads:
Exhausted, yes; thanks for that word that I couldn’t find. I’m so fucking exhausted that I couldn’t even think properly enough to articulate myself. I don’t appreciate having to hear loud kids, whether they’re young adults or little children, for hours and hours at a time. Like, that literally stresses me out.
Another comment I responded to, was one in which someone supported me, in having made this post. My response to their comment reads:
Exactly. I am the bitch/bitter woman/person with issues, not the people who are suggesting that I shut the fuck up and keep my shit bottled up inside, which would actually prompt me to become bitter/angry πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ
Another comment I wrote, was in response to someone showing their support; my response reads:
Thank you so much for your support, it’s much appreciated. I hate when people try to police others too, no matter what the issue is at hand. It’s sickening, really. Now, if I were going on parents’ FB posts where they talked about their kids and saying shitty things or something, I could understand why people would be angry at that. But I am not, and would not, ever do anything of the sort; I came directly to this FB group of CF people where I knew I’d be met with at least some unity and support. But yet I’m the one that’s problematic? Wow, maybe those who feel that way should look at possible internal conflicts within themselves…but oh no, it’s easier/more fun to blame others…
And it was after I’d posted this particular comment that my post was completely deleted. Sheesh. And in case anyone wants to know the name of this particular childfree group, it’s called “Respectfully Childfree.” And the irony here, is that the folks in that group are not actually respectful!!

So I then submitted the below post to this specific group which reads:
I’m leaving this group. If those of you who appreciated my recent post would like to keep in touch with me, feel free to message me. To others, you should change this group name to reflect that you accept fence-sitters/people who are not really childfree, as they are dating people with kids. You should also put some sort of announcement at the top of the page letting people know that not all opinions/thoughts are truly welcome. I think people need to know exactly what they might unknowingly be getting into. I’ve had fun here while it lasted, but some things are only meant to be seasonal…and this was one of them for me, apparently.
But that being said, I’m pretty sure the moderators of that group didn’t actually put that post of mine through. And what makes me most sad about people being so sensitive that they can’t handle a difference in opinion or profanity, is that the world is full of people who are grown-ups who have strong opinions and who use profanity, myself among such people. Those truths are not a secret to anyone; yet that truth about profanity in particular, is why you’ll never see me promoting my content in a format where the person wants me to sensor myself. But that being said, it’s simple: if you don’t like what someone says and you know that you can’t say anything to them without discrediting them/attacking their character, then walk away. And if at a later time, you can come back to that discussion like the adult that you are, that’s great. But if not, part of being an adult is knowing how far is too far…and someone who doesn’t harm others by having opinions, is not that, at all.

On my personal FB page, I wrote the following status update that reads:
To VoiceOver/iPhone users, I dunno if you care about this, but just in case you do, Ava’s downloadable voice is fixed on the iPhone. Like, for the longest time, when you’d slow down or speed up her speech, neither of those would actually do what they were supposed to…and this was only a problem with the Ava voices, in my experience. But now, I’m using that voice to write this status on my Bluetooth keyboard, at a rate I think I’ll love. So happy. It’s the little things.

Tuesday evening I saw a tweet from the Britney: The Zone account, where they told folks that they’d created an app for this upcoming event. They’d also emailed me and of course in the email, they were able to be a little bit more forthcoming with information. And what they’d said in the email, was that using the Britney: The Zone app would be how us fans get into the actual event itself…but also, the app would have additional things that we could do like activate interactive sections in this experience…and even let us browse a Britney Spears merchandise store, apparently. There’s even a link within the app that takes folks to a Britney Spears playlist. But that being said, I was bummed to find out that the link this app has for people to listen to Britney’s playlist, is only available for Spotify. I did tweet the Britney: The Zone account to ask them directly if this same playlist will also be on Apple Music. However they haven’t responded to that question.

Wednesday morning I watched the latest episode of Emergence; we the viewers found out that Ryan Brooks, the FBI agent that’s been trying to help Jo crack this case about Piper, was the person who’d gotten shot in the previous episode of the show. I’m glad that we got that question answered because it was one of those things that I couldn’t have just known, given how the show is not audio described. But also, the entire show became more dramatic in this most recent episode, mostly because we find out that there’s an upload that’s started on Piper and all of the other artificial intelligence machines, robots, whatever you want to call them. And in fact this most recent episode ends with Piper saying “it’s starting!” I’m sure that that quote is Piper talking about the upload. And next week we’ll get the Emergence season finale which is both disappointing and exciting. It’s disappointing because I know that that episode too will end on a cliffhanger…but it’s exciting because we’ll hopefully gain more answers about this ever-so-mysterious show. So needless to say, if you haven’t ever watched this show, you should do so. It’s on Hulu and on the actual TV channel ABC.

Yesterday afternoon I received a call from the driver who’d come to pick me up for my doctor’s appointment. This was the first time this has happened with this service but it was quite a welcome change nonetheless. The driver even knew English fluently which was also a welcome change…both because I was able to communicate with them as a totally blind person and also because I feel much more comfortable when I can speak to someone and know that they understand me. Because being blind, I don’t have the luxury of being able to point to things. I could possibly pull up Google Translate or some other resource if I knew what language the drivers spoke…but TBH, it’s easier said then done. Because when I’m going to the doctor, I’m usually preoccupied with whatever the issue is that I’ll be seeing my doctor about. Because as a several times over chronically ill person, I constantly have to think about how many spoons I have on that particular day and then tally up in my head the things that it’s absolutely important I save my energy for. And then from time-to-time, an interaction I have with someone goes much differently than I anticipated it would…and so I then have to recalculate the number of spoons I have/refigure how to use the amount of spoons I have affectively. Has reading this particular paragraph of my post tired anyone out yet? Yes, well, just imagine being me. It’s fucking tough!!

But that being said, I wrote the below FB post about my recent appointment with my neurosurgeon. I wrote:
Doctor says my next appointment with him will be a six month followup. So each time I see him, we’ll increase My follow ups by three months. The farthest out that I will see him, will be a year. I wish there was a way for us to know how long this shunt will last, but there isn’t. My doctor is the best though; he really cares about his patients. I’m a lucky girl!!!