Assorted TV show/podcast thoughts, and controversial thoughts on being childfree

When I was a little girl, my Oma and I enjoyed watching the show called Unsolved Mysteries with one another. Back then this show was hosted by a man named Robert Stack, though I didn’t actually know his name until I’d gotten much older. But sadly, by the time I was a teenager and Googled something like “the host of Unsolved Mysteries,” Robert Stack had died from a heart attack. He was only in his 80s then; and even to this day, I still feel like we’ve lost a legend when he died. And so all this being said, when I found out that a reboot of Unsolved Mysteries was going to be put on Netflix, I felt mixed emotions about that. But thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised by this reboot. And given how much I loved this show as a kid, I’m going to write about each episode that’s in the reboot of it.

So in the first Unsolved Mysteries episode, a story is told about a couple who was deeply in love with one another and who’d gotten married to each other. Throughout this episode, we the viewers learn about this family’s life, both as it relates to the extended family members and the new family that this couple’s marriage had started. The newly married couple’s names were Allison and Ray; and Ray’s extended family was made up of his two parents and at least one sibling of his. I say at least one sibling, because only one sibling of Ray’s was featured in this documentary. And when this story first starts out, we hear Allison talk about how she and Ray had recently relocated from one state to another state, because a long-time friend of Ray’s named Porter, had promised Ray a good job with good money for him and the family that he’d be starting with Allison. But then as this story goes on, we as the viewers start to become suspicious of Porter and of Porter’s business.

So let me set the scene for you folks, now. As I’d said above, Allison and Ray had chosen to relocate to the state that Ray’s friend Porter lived in. Everything seemed to be going just fine in Ray’s and Allison’s lives, until one day when Ray unexpectedly went missing. And as it turns out, once Ray’s body was found, the local police department seemed to easily declare Ray’s death a suicide. But the thing was, the circumstances around his body being found were weird as fuck. Ray’s body was found on the top of the very roof that housed the building where Porter’s business was located. And not just that, but Ray’s body had seemed to have been placed inside of a hole on the roof. But then as journalists and police detectives and Ray’s family did investigations of their own about Ray’s disappearance, that’s when things became unnecessarily complicated. Because as I’d said above, this state’s police department continually claimed that what had happened to Ray was a suicide. Yet, literally everyone else who came to care about this case or who’d been connected to Ray somehow, new otherwise. Hell, even I was certain as a viewer, that the police department in this town had the verdict for this case totally wrong.

And so not surprisingly, as this story continues, we the viewers learn even more tough things about this case. Because what this eventually starts to look like, is an intentional murder. The evidence that suggested this possibility, was mainly the fact that Ray’s long-time friend Porter refused to talk to the local police department as well as the film crew of Unsolved Mysteries. Also, upon hearing that Ray’s body had been found, Porter made sure that his employees stayed silent, including himself. But in addition to those things as evidence that this was not a suicide, was the fact that some of Ray’s personal items were in the vicinity where his body had been found; but these personal items of Ray’s were not damaged at all. And so to me, all of these things combined, create the answer to this story: Porter was either involved in Ray’s murder, or he (Porter) knows information about who was responsible for Ray’s murder…and also, Ray’s belongings that were at the suspected crime scene were likely put there after the murder of Ray actually took place. These things are not hard to take note of in my opinion, and I’m not even someone who solves cases for a living.

Correction: when I wrote about the Netflix show entitled The Good Place, I misspoke about the number of seasons that this show actually has. The correct number of seasons it has, is three. But that being said, the way this show ends is fucking weird.

As I’d said before in my blog when I talked about it, calling The Good Place by that particular name is a trick. The main demon who’s responsible for repeatedly tricking residents of The Good Place, always does his best to give us the impression that he plans for the human beings’ eventual discovery of the truth…but he’s of course lying. But the weirdness in this show comes at the very end of season three, when Eleanor and Chidi who are soulmates for each other, have to lose their memories in order to reboot The Good Place again. Well actually, Chidi is the only one who has to lose memories; it’s just sad that that has to happen because both Eleanor and Chidi are allowed to see how them being soulmates actually happened in one of the previous reboots that the Demon Michael had set up. And so needless to say, I’m not sure if this weird ending in The Good Place means that there’s more of the show to come…or not.

So, the TED Radio Hour podcast is now hosted by a woman named Manoush Zomorodi. And honestly, even though she’s been the host of this podcast for a few months now, it took me awhile before I listened to her host this show. Because quite frankly, I went through a period of feeling like TED Radio Hour wouldn’t be worth listening to, now that its original host Guy Raz had moved onto doing other things. But once the world was placed on lockdown, I started trying to get myself to warm up to Manoush Zomorodi, the new TED Radio Hour host. And I’m proud to report that I have warmed up to her. I’m excited that a woman hosts this show, mostly because it’s important as a woman myself, to see other women doing things that change the world for good. And even though I don’t write about every TED Radio Hour episode that I listen to, I write about all of the ones that move me, whether I’m moved in a happy way, an angry way or a sad way. Because ultimately, giving support to people’s ideas, mind-sets/perspectives that are different from mine, helps me grow and become an even better version of myself.

An episode of TED Radio Hour that stood out to me, was one in which Manoush Zomorodi talked with different people about how the world’s current crisis known as Covid 19 can actually be used to make people think differently about things, than maybe they ever have before. So for example, one of the neat ideas that was expressed in this episode of TED Radio Hour, was that people who own businesses or folks who are at the top of the business chain so to speak, should place listening to their customers at the forefront of their good business practices. Instead of talking to groups of people who don’t actually have anything to do with making businessess better, it ought to become second nature to truly operate for and with, the people who do and could, make people’s businesses thrive. And OMG, another thought I just had on this subject matter, was that if every college campus in the world had to have a board, it would be awesome if all of the board members were college students. Its college students’ wouldn’t necessarily all have to be current college students; the board could also have past college students. I think that this idea of mine would be hugely beneficial to myself and others because it would be empowering to see real people in our age group who are being our cheerleaders. Because mostly elderly white men are likely going to die soon anyway…so there’s no reason for them to give a crap about younger college students’ success. I’m sure that some elderly white men do care about the success of younger college students; but those folks are the exception, not the rule.

But yet another great idea in this episode of the TED Radio Hour podcast, was for human beings to reframe how we think of certain professions like maids, dishwashers, waiters/waitresses ETC. Because as this person so truthfully points out, these types of professions are thought of as less than other jobs. Hell, I remember that even in my own life, many folks within my family of origin have expressed to me that exact thought: that these types of jobs are meaningless…or that the people who work in these professions do so because they literally cannot do anything else. And such thinking is faulty thinking, mostly because jobs are jobs, period!! Every single thing in our world is able to be done because yet other people have jobs that help us all unite as one collective force. So even though folks don’t usually think about this so specifically, myself included, I think this way of thinking should be placed at the forefront of everything. Because as human beings, we all work together collectively, to make, or break, the way life functions for the entire world.

In another episode of TED Radio Hour, Manoush Zomorodi talked with people about loneliness. And the very first thing that this episode made me think about, was how when I’d first arrived to this new state, I felt awful. I think the main reason why I felt so awful for what felt like forever, was because I honestly didn’t even expect to be lonely. I know that probably sounds weird to some folks, but I literally had not planned for this particular feeling. And truthfully, I guess I did what I often do: I focused so much on the good parts of life, the good parts of being a college student ETC, that I totally miss the not-so-pleasant things I’d likely also experience. Because that’s just it, loneliness is a part of the human experience; there’s no escaping that harsh truth. I say harsh truth because two years ago which was the last time I remember being lonely, I tried to find something that would make that loneliness disappear. But in hindsight, what would have been a more productive use of my time, would have been for me to realize that loneliness wasn’t a sign that I’d remain lonely forever. Because, even as my then-boyfriend assured me, a small part of me knew that establishing yourself in a new place takes time…no matter who or where you are.

Another story in this TED Radio Hour episode that resonated with me, was one where a woman talked about creating a sense of community where she lived. But before I go any further, I want to say that this woman was a building designer. And so, given that that was her profession, she not only created the building that became her community, but she also made sure that the people who lived in this community truly felt safe, heard and seen. And honestly, what this woman’s story brought to mind for me, is how in a recent blog post of mine, I wrote about how I envision creating a community of people around me who love and take care of each other. I said this because I’ve thought about things in depth, where this is concerned: it would be wonderful to not have to stress about who will take me to the Emergency Room, when one of my health issues flares up. It would just be a weight off my shoulders, to know that I don’t have to question whether someone will be around when I truly need help with something. And so, when I heard this person on TED Radio Hour talking about this very concept of creating one’s own community, I smiled. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only person who thinks that this way of using one’s resources well, will help people be generally happy and loving.

The last story in this TED Radio Hour episode that moved me, was one where a woman talked about how given this current Covid 19 crisis the world is experiencing, we ought to find new ways to be creative. And of course, hearing this particular thing made me happy, as I’ve been doing the same lately. But one example that this woman gave of a way she’s become creative, was that she’d journal about the things she’d been feeling, given that she’d had to be isolated due to serious health issues of hers. She also said that if it weren’t for Covid 19, she might not have been motivated to push herself in new and exciting ways. But then she talked about how this project of hers actually encouraged other people to tap into their creativity. Some people wrote a daily journal about what the isolation they were feeling, made them go through. Other people created art projects every single day, for a few months’ time. And yet other people chose to sit on their porches and enjoy the weather, a cup of coffee or tea and even read books.

In a couple different episodes of the TED Radio Hour podcast, Manoush Zomorodi talks with people about whether or not human beings will learn from the world’s Covid 19 crisis. And so, I’m going to talk about what I think about that question, and if you know me well, you probably won’t be surprised by what I have to say about this…which is mainly that I’m skeptical that our world will become better as we move through this Covid 19 crisis. Because not only does the world’s history repeat itself, but people seem to forget about how bad events like this actually were in our lives, once the events have gone away. And so while I’m generally a positive person, my thoughts about the future state of our world are very cynical. It would be lovely if people took this current crisis as a valuable learning experience for themselves/others, and maybe some folks will do exactly that…but I’m not going to be Ms. Positivity, the way I once might have been. Because realism, not positivity, gets us through the rough times.

In an episode of the Cognative Dissonance podcast, the show’s hosts Cecil and Tom talked about how the United States president held a cup of water at a recent rally of his. Now, the reason that Cecil and Tom were talking about what a sight this was to see as far as the two of them are concerned, was because Trump is so egotistical as to think that people are fucking happy that he (Trump) can hold a fucking cup of water. But the thing that this part of Cecil’s and Tom’s podcast made me think about, is when in my own life, my family of origin used to tell me that I hold utensils the wrong way. Now, these people used to tell me this specific thing so often that something like this which doesn’t really matter, was something about myself that I became hugely aware of. But of course I’ve always held utensils differently than other human beings–I’ve had Cerebral Palsy since birth!! And this life story of mine relates to the story I’ve just told about Trump’s arrogant ass, in the sense that my family of origin tried to make a big deal out of the way I held utensils…when no one should give a flying fuck about something so trivial as the way someone holds silverware.

But that being said, the issue with president Trump not being able to hold a glass of water, is not ridiculous. I think it’s great that people are talking about this sort of thing, because the way this buffoon conducts himself, has a lot to do with how he runs or doesn’t run America. And the sad thing is, I know that I’m in the minority as a disabled person, to openly say that people are absolutely right to assess Trump being unfit to be in office due to his seemingly ill health, both in terms of how he moves around as well as how he speaks, slurs his speech ETC. Because like it or not, all of these things have everything to do with his seeming fragility…and all of these things indicate that he should not be in any position to continually harm America.

Something I don’t think I’ve talked about here much, is the subject of whether I feel scared as a childfree woman, about what will happen to me as I get older. I’ve mainly seen this particular question brought up on Facebook groups for childfree folks. But honestly, when I think of myself aging without having children of my own, I’m totally fine with that. For one thing, I’m polyamorous so I know that because of this particular truth of mine, I’ll have people around me as it is anyway. Because I’m good at bringing the right people into my life, now that I’ve had tons of experiences with toxic folks and lovely folks. But also, I have the particular perspective I do on aging as someone who will remain childfree because I’m confident in my ability to choose and keep the right people in my life. And given that I’m direct in my offline life too, people decide I’m not worth their time when they find out that I’m a staunch atheist/polyamorous/as liberal as they come. And I’m honestly not complaining one bit, as me choosing to be out about literally everything, makes my journey in life a lot easier. Because where I used to be in the closet about multiple things in my life, it was hard as fuck to be me. But now that I’m no longer living a lie in any way, I don’t feel that way anymore.

But before I go any further with this subject matter, I want to clarify something. When I say that I’m out about everything in my life, I don’t mean that I talk about all of the ways I’m different on a regular basis; yet, when many folks hear someone say they’re out about something, folks often do interpret that as meaning that this person regularly discusses these controversial subjects with others. But for me, being out about everything in my life, simply means that I’ll talk openly about things with anyone who truly wants to learn about why I believe what I do. But the second someone I start being vulnerable with starts to bring religion into the discussion, in the sense of demeaning me because I believe differently than they do, that will put an abrupt end to our discussion. I’m not going to allow people to walk all over me in any way, the way I used to in the past. Being totally open about who I am, means that I’m not going to lie or stay silent about anything, anymore. Being out about who I am, means that whenever I hear someone being homophobic, or saying that anyone who is not Christian will go to Hell, I’ll speak up/fully support the folks who are being discriminated against. Because nowadays, what’s become truly important to me, is living in my truth, all the time. And so with that change in my core values, not speaking up and out about people’s harmful behaviors would be physically painful for me.

But going back to talking about being childfree, I think that people having kids just so that they (the parents) will potentially have someone to take care of them when they become elderly parents, is literally the most selfish thing in the entire world. And this is where yes, I remind people that I’m someone who thinks that it is immoral to have kids. There are billions of humans on Planet Earth already; we don’t need to continue over-populating this planet with more of them. Adoption agencies exist for a reason. We human beings ought to use that particular resource without question, if we can afford to do so. And the same applies to children in the foster care system: plenty of those children could use truly loving families too. Because the thing is, there are plenty of folks in the world who’d love to give back in these ways; and even though I’m childfree personally, I do fully support children as a whole being placed into healthy environments that allow them to thrive and grow into happy human beings. And I wish that even more folks would share the particular perspective about this that I have.