In the comment exchange on FB that I’d talked about in my last blog post, I have one last thing to add to that discussion. Because there was a bit more of a back and forth about it, since I’d initially posted about this. And so, to summarize the back and forth between these people and I, one of the people said something like “you keep misinterpreting what I’m saying.” And my response to that last comment of theirs reads:
This is my last comment here. I understand just fine that you are denying people’s human rights, and saying that you as a heterosexual person are superior to us as people in the LGBT community. I understand that very well but that doesn’t mean that I agree with you. And for the record, when I said that you win the Internet for the day, that was not a compliment!!! How sad that you found that humorous–you are clearly the one not understanding what this mutual friend and I have been saying.
In the FB group entitled Childfree by Choice that I’ve talked about on my blog before, I recently made a post there expressing my frustration about homophobic/racist idiots having spawn, who they then raise to also be homophobic/racist. More specifically, I was referring to someone I used to know, who always seemed to be weird around me because she knew about my being gay. But anyway, I posted about this on Childfree by Choice because it disgusts me that people actually think of themselves as loving individuals, when they are actually hate-filled folks. And I knew that me posting in that particular FB group would help me feel less alone…and thankfully, I was right about that.
Within the last week, I received a call from a number that I didn’t recognize; and it turned out that when the person left a message, it was my therapist calling to let me know that they’re switching all their patients over to having appointments by phone. And in the message that they’d left me, they gave me a few dates and times to choose from, for our next appointment. So once I’d picked a time that I liked, I sent them a message using the MyChart app to let them know what I’d chosen. And then, another person from this medical facility called me, also with the information that this facility was switching everything from happening in-person, to happening over the phone. Life just keeps getting weirder and weirder, to me.
Friday evening I bought my first-ever AirPods; and I hadn’t even felt what AirPods look like, prior to getting my own. I didn’t even read up on them beforehand which was different from how I usually do things when it comes to technology. But I felt like I knew enough about them that I’d figure them out. And I did…but there was a bit of a learning curve initially. Because they come in a small square case and there’s a fairly big hole/dip that each AirPod sets in. However the tricky part here, is that there’s an even tinier hole for each AirPod to go into…and I didn’t catch that bit of information at first. And in fact, it took my caretaker saying with words that there’s a tiny hole to stick the smallest part of the AirPods into, for me to actually connect those dots so to speak. LOL. But once I realized exactly what to do, I could easily put the AirPods into their case. And also on each side of the case, each AirPod fits nicely inside of the case, once the smallest part of the AirPod is set into the tiniest hole. Because the AirPods are actually magnetic. I just can’t believe how tiny each AirPod, as well as the case for them, is!! They’re soooo cute.
When I was touching the AirPods case yesterday morning, I realized that there’s a small button located on the back of this case. And so, being that my AirPods weren’t making any sound whatsoever, I pressed that button on the case. And long story short, that was the wrong thing to do because the button on the case unpairs the AirPods from your phone. And so, I then had to get my caretaker’s help turning the AirPod case back on because there’s no audio cue that tells you whether the case is on or off. There’s only a visual cue that signifies the case is on or off…which was pretty annoying. But then my caretaker paired the AirPods with my phone again. He also discovered that I’d actually put the AirPods inside of their case incorrectly which made both AirPods unable to charge. But after making this particular discovery, my caretaker explained to me that the AirPods only have one way to go into their case; he then informed me that the part of each AirPod that goes in one’s ear, faces away from the case that they’re inside of. And also while he was at it, my caretaker helped me set up what each AirPod can do; so for example, I set the left AirPod to play/pause my music and the right AirPod to skip to the next or previous track. And so far, I love those functions. And TBH, it kinda surprises me that I feel this way about these functions because I’d initially thought that it would be hard for me to remember which function I’d set for which AirPod.
So ever since I last wrote about Timecrest on my blog, I’ve actually been playing said game again. I remember mentioning on here that I didn’t know if I’d take a break from playing it or not…but writing about it again, honestly made me remember why I absolutely love this game. Because the thing is, I’m still making new discoveries about it; one thing I’m doing differently in the game this time around, is that I’m trying to accumulate enough Time Crystals which will allow me to pay for an object within the merchant store that I’ve never been able to access before. And part of what makes me aiming to purchase this object exciting, is the fact that said object may add even more magical elements into the game. I’m not sure what this object does though; I think that knowledge is kept secret from Timecrest players for a reason. But hopefully at some point in the not-too-distant future, I’ll get to see for myself what this object has to offer me. I’m choosing not to even say what it’s called yet because I definitely want to write about the moment I acquire this object as a big exciting part of my writings here.
Something else that’s related to Timecrest that I don’t think I’ve ever talked about here, is the fact that in addition to their being Time Crystals that players can accumulate, players can also accumulate gold coins that are from Alyncia, (the world that Ash and Ash’s friends live in). And what the Time Crystals do, is that Timecrest players can use time crystals to skip forward in time, rather than waiting for say, 17 hours in real time, to be able to continue playing the game. But the trick about using time crystals though, is that you have to have a certain number of them in order to move forward in the game. And so, if you don’t have thousands of time crystals which is what would be required for you to make the game timer move ahead when it’s a several hour wait period that you’d otherwise be waiting for. So, put another way, you can’t actually make time in the game move forward, unless you have the specified amount of time crystals that the game claims you’d need for that particular amount of time. And come to think of it, the same thing applies to the gold Alyncian coins that I’ve mentioned above: if you don’t have the specified number of Alyncian gold coins that’s required to purchase drinks and such from the Timecrest Merchant’s store then you have to wait until you accumulate the amount of coins that you’d need for whatever the item happens to be.
Yet another thing about Timecrest that I want to write about here, is the fact that there are items called Teleport Orbs that can be extremely useful to players in the game. These particular items are a quick way for Timecrest characters to transport themselves to and from places; but the other transportation method that’s available to Timecrest players, is called Griffin Transport. And griffin transportation, is where the characters in the game get on the backs of animals called griffins and fly to their destination…but that particular method of transportation is far slower than teleport orbs are. But throughout my time playing this game, I’ve used both of these transportation options at different times, depending on whether I wanted the characters to arrive somewhere instantly or whether I didn’t mind dragging out the time that the characters spent using Griffin Transport. Because even having played this game for as long as I have, if I can try to gain access to all of the different rewards and things that players accumulate throughout the game, I’d love to do that!!
I recently searched Netflix for LGBTQ+ themed movies or shows, by typing the letters LGBTQ into the search box within Netflix. And one of the movies I found within that particular search, which I’d never seen on Netflix before, is called The Roommate. And according to the synopsis of this movie, two women who are college roommates with each other, end up being in one another’s lives in a way that I honestly didn’t even see coming. And what I mean by that, is that Sara, who we as the viewers are made to think is heterosexual throughout the movie, has a dorm mate named Rebecca. And quite frankly, the character of Rebecca was literally nothing like I’d anticipated she would be, when I’d read this movie’s synopsis.
And so, to elaborate on what I mean by saying that, I’ll need to jump ahead in explaining the movie’s summary a bit. Because the character Rebecca actually ends up having serious mental health conditions which cause her to do things that are harmful to herself as well as to other people. And an example of this, is that she (Rebecca) physically harms a few characters in the movie because she can’t handle her roommate Sara associating with anyone but her. And yet another example of how Rebecca’s mental health issues show themselves, is through her (Rebecca) causing physical harm to an animal that Sara had brought to their dorm because she (Sara) thought the kitten was adorable. And so, what Rebecca does to the kitten, was that she put the animal in the washer at the dorm and then we the viewers are made to wonder if she actually kills the kitten or not. But in addition to these things happening, it becomes clear pretty early on in this movie, that Rebecca is a disturbed individual. Like, at first, I thought that she was paying so much attention to her roommate Sara in a stalkerish sense…and I thought that we’d most likely continue seeing Rebecca stalking Sara for the entire duration of the movie. And that’s why I said above, that I was totally surprised to see the Rebecca character go as far as she goes, killing other characters who she didn’t want to be in Sara’s life.
Another aspect of this movie that stood out to me, was the lengths to which the Rebecca character went, to attempt to convince other characters in the movie that she was actually Sara. So what she (Rebecca, does to achieve making herself look like Sara, is that she gets a tattoo on her chest that looks exactly like Sara’s tattoo on her (Sara’s) chest. She (Rebecca) also dyes her hair the same color as Sara’s hair. Rebecca even wears clothes of Sara’s, when she’s going to harm people who have been in Sara’s life, and she (Rebecca) knows that her looking like Sara will give her the upper hand that she’d need in those situations. But even though I’ve written many of these things down, it was fascinating to me to watch the Rebecca character be so detail-oriented, in terms of how she did her best to learn everything about Sara that she possibly could. But also, I was amazed at how Rebecca did her best to keep Sara from knowing the fucked up things that she (Rebecca) did to try and keep Sara all to herself.
And TBH, I’m not sure if this movie felt so scary to me because I watched it kinda late at night or what; but I was surprised to read that this movie was only rated PG13. Because not only were the things that happened in the movie scary, but the music/sounds that were played throughout the movie, were also scary-sounding as fuck. But ultimately, I can’t make up my mind about whether I liked this movie or whether I’d never watch it again. But I do know that I’d encourage people to watch it at least once, for the simple fact that it gets you hooked from the beginning to the end. Like, it’s definitely one of those movies that has you on the edge of your seat literally all the way through it. And so, I’d be curious to know what folks think of this movie that’s called The Roommate, if you do choose to watch it.
In an episode of Multiamory that I recently listened to, Dedeker, Emily and Jase (the hosts of the show) talked about what the concept of committment means when you’re someone who’s in a traditional monogamous relationship, versus what commitment could mean when folks are in consensually non-monogamous relationships. And so, for my reflections on this particular topic, I’d like to start by saying that like many people, I grew up hearing that heterosexual relationships were the only valid kinda relationships in the world. I was also told that if people weren’t heterosexual, those people were somehow considered to be less than other human beings. And as is also the case in my life when it comes to lots of other things, I believed that being taught in this way was correct…until something shifted in me. Because the thing was, as I became older and as I read more books on sex and sexuality, I came to realize that not everyone lived the same exact way as each other…and that that was a matter of personal choice for each individual. And so, it’s been through this way of thinking, that I’ve found that this particular thought process resonates with me. Whereas even though for most of my life I’d heard that monogamy was the only kinda relationship style in the world, that idea felt restrictive to me…even though I had no language for why this was true for me.
And so, another toxic aspect of committment that it’s important to me to talk about, is this idea that human beings ought to stay in romantic relationships, even if those relationships are abusive or the trust between couples has been broken within a romantic relationship. And I say that this kinda viewpoint is toxic because it’s never OK for a higher power, or a fellow human being for that matter, to tell another human being how to live their life…or how not to live their life. It’s also never OK for a human being to assume that just because they believe a certain way, that that means that others ought to follow suit. Because as I’ve said numerous times on my blog before, no one should ever be forced to do anything, or to believe or not believe, in a certain way.
So nowadays, when I think of what the term “commitment” means to me, I think of the fact that every day, I consciously choose to put myself before anyone and anything else in my life. Because a huge part of what putting myself first means, is that I want to actively choose how I conduct all of my relationships with others. A huge part of what putting myself first means, is that I intentionally prioritize wanting to have romance in my life, along with the understanding that that doesn’t necessarily mean that one romantic relationship is going to be put before any already-established relationships that have existed before I started dating this person. A huge part of what putting myself first means, is that I understand, and that I even would encourage my partner or partners to not change the structures of their other relationships that are meaningful to them, simply because they decide to be in a romantic relationship with me.
In another Multiamory episode, its hosts talked about couples making intentional time to be with one another; and initially I thought about how resistant I am to creating a weekly date night in my own life. And the reason I’d initially felt this way, was because I thought of date night as folks going to a sit-down restaurant and therefore paying for whatever food they eat. But the thing that the Multiamory hosts pointed out in this episode of their show, was that people’s date nights with each other don’t necessarily have to look a specific way. But then another reason I felt strongly about this, was that I’d initially viewed people creating date nights in my own life to mean that I wouldn’t ever get alone time for myself. And TBH, that’s one reason why I don’t ever see myself wanting to live with a partner ever again: because my alone time means as much to me as my time with others. But that being said, if I don’t ever have my alone time because I live with a partner, I would be incredibly unhappy. And that’s something that I became clear about, due to the fact that I lived with the last guy I dated for a bit…and while we worked well living in a shared space with each other, I found myself becoming irritable whenever I wouldn’t have the alone time I so desperately require. And so, one way that I could create healthy romantic relationships in my future, would be to continue having my life as an individual, and allowing anyone I’m with to do the same in their lives.
That being said, as I listened to Jase, Emily and Dedeker explain why all three of them find having a regular date night something that helps maintain each of their romantic relationships, they definitely gave me some things to think about. So on some level, I can relate to what they said in this episode about folks being intentional about setting aside time for people that they’re dating. I can relate to that way of thinking because part of my reason for wanting to remain childfree, is so that I can spend one-on-one time with whomever I’m dating. But on the other hand, as I’d said above, I’d initially thought of date nights meaning that people leave their house or their partner’s house and go elsewhere together. But honestly, I don’t even know where I came up with that particular formula, because it certainly wasn’t modeled for me by anyone. I didn’t have any healthy role models growing up, in terms of how both sides of my family of origin conducted their relationships. But even so, not having healthy role models that were related to me by blood, did unintentionally teach me how to ensure that I communicate well with fellow human beings, no matter how we may be interacting with each other.